FIFTY-THREE

2008

Friends/Family:
Brother's Family, Kelly, Gretchen

I attended Gay Pride. It was a circus act for the most part but I wanted to go and check it out. I am pretty open minded and a lot of my friends and associates are gay. Plus, I try to reserve judgement until I understand as much as I can. And even then, I tend to hold back/not judge.

I also attended my first gay wedding. Kelly and Gretchen got married. It was in August and it was an honor to be there. I am not sure how I feel about gay marriage for I am not sure it is something that needed to be fought for in terms of gay rights but I do understand that love is love and often with love comes devotion. I guess it is more about Equal Rights. So, in terms of love and devotion, which usually translates into time, energy and emotion, I guess I get the fight. If I had someone I loved dying in a hospital and I had spent a significant part of my life with that individual but was not allowed in the room as their life slipped away, I would have issues too. But, I know it is more than bed-side presence. I get that. However, one thing I hear addressed more and more in the gay community is infidelity. So I get confused. Why do they want the rights of a union, that by translation and in vows say, love, honor and cherish. Those three words do not mean "get some" when you want to regardless of the union. And for that matter, someone explain its prevalence in the heterosexual community where marriage is accepted, expected and rejected more and more.

As someone once said, I have a big heart. I am the one who always roots for the underdog. If someone looks like they are not having fun at a party, I am the one who saunters over and makes conversation. That is not vanity. That is empathy. In high school, I was not in a clique. Or at least it did not feel like I was. I suppose to the outsider I was in the cheerleading clique. Or athlete clique. But I actually tried to not hang out with one crowd. I am not sure what that was about. Perhaps curiosity, avoid typecasting, defiance. So, new or uncomfortable is not so foreign to me. I definitely have things I am uncomfortable with or around but, in large, it does not bother me. I attribute that to my strong suit of independence. And that independence lets me explore and be open minded.
In history, this happened: 2008
http://www.infoplease.com/world/events/2008/

FIFTY-TWO

2007

Friends/Family:
Brother's Family, Debbie

I remember the news of Virginia Tech. I immediately thought of my nephews. Three were in college at the time. I remember thinking that the innocence was gone. The innocence for my nephews was gone. Even though they were in schools in California, it could happen anywhere. Today the pressure and vulnerability of students is astounding and it runs so deep in an ever-demanding world. Not sure if it compares to the same pressures of Vietnam and the incident at Kent State only to say that innocent people got shot. There was angst about the war among the students, among the armed guards and law. However, unlike Virginia Tech, it did not mount and go unnoticed.

This picture was taken in Vegas. I went with some friends and we saw The Blue Man Group. It was pretty entertaining for Vegas.

I was just getting started in the DA's office. I was trying to fill positions from vacancies left by retirements, military leave and transfers. I was getting my feet wet, actually soaked, in the red tape of government. In the private sector, it was much easier to hire and fire with "at-will".



Funny term: "at will". I like it though.


Dictionary.com says it means: at will (adverb) as one chooses or pleases; "he can roam the neighborhood at will"


For the work place it means: The Company does not offer tenured or guaranteed employment. Either the Company or the employee can terminate the employment relationship at any time, with or without cause, with or without notice.


This hearkens back to growing up in a home where I had to take responsibility. Not an option not to. Sounds tough? But if it's your way of life, you don't know any better. So, you go out and expect others to be as responsible. When you don't see it, it gets a bit frustrating. Especially in the workplace. Personally, I think many organizations could get by with less people as they are quickly finding out in today's economy. Less is more. Just so I am not one of the "Less".

There were destructive fires in California in 2007. I was living downtown at the time. I remember feeling safe. or as safe as I could be, surrounded by concrete. So many people lost homes or were displaced. Even my brother and family were out of their home for about 8 days. But amazingly, there was only one person in the DA's office who lost their home. That was remarkable since there are over 1,200 people who work here.
To assist, I worked as much as I could during the fires. I bought supplies and took them to shelters. I also helped with 211 calls and created maps to assist in the field. It was nice to be able to contribute but sad to see the devastation. It was a crazy fire that was in full control of its destiny. It did not let the firemen win very often.

In history, this happened: 2007
http://www.infoplease.com/year-review-2007.html

FIFTY-ONE

2006

Friends/Family:
Mollie, JoAnn, Sam, Kristin

The real estate market was going goofy and I kept looking at property all over the place. I had doubled my money on my house in less than 2 years. Yet, after all these years in SO CAL I was still not feeling like it was home. I was antsy and wanted to move. I still feel like I moved here to lick my wounds and reset my life. So, I thought the reset was nearing an end so started looking. I looked at a project in Austin, TX and Mpls. I really liked the concept of this project called The Bridges. I even had a place on reserve. But right before I sent in my money, something stopped me. I just did not feel right about it...for many reasons. I am so glad I waited. The project never got off the ground and in hindsight, that is when I noticed the market changing.
Mollie and JoAnn, friends from Mpls, came out to help me with a garage sale. We plowed through so many things that I had moved from home to home and it was time to purge. I was looking forward to simplifying. The garage sale ran Saturday only and I sold over $1500.oo worth of stuff. That night we went to dinner and celebrated. What great friends they are!
One week before I was to move, my dog Tiger was attacked by coyotes in my backyard. It was at 3 AM when I let him out to go to the bathroom. I heard a yelping and I ran out. I saw nothing. I ran around to the side of the house and saw two coyotes trotting down the street. One had Tiger in its mouth. I ran after them screaming. They finally drop him and he ran under a bush. The coyotes stopped and watched me. I scooped up my dog and ran back to the house. I put him in the sink and bathed him. He seemed fine. I only saw a little blood. But about 2 minutes later, he collapsed. I took him to emergency where they stabilized him. They shaved his body and he had bite marks all over him but they thought they could save him. Later in the day, he started bleeding and it did not stop. They rushed him to surgery. The Vet came to talk to me and said it was going to be expensive and no guarantee. I said to proceed. They prepped him but he started to fade fast at 10 PM. I did not make it to see Tiger one last time. He was gone. I had lost a significant "pal" and only one week from moving into my new place. Very sad.
My indecisiveness on where to live is about me "cutting". (Pull up and move if you cannot find what you need.) Seems I can justify why I don't want to live here anymore. But where do I want to go? I am not sure. Is being older now a deterrent to a move? Do I need to have all my business affairs in order to make the move? Being carefree comes with a price. OR does it. Perhaps waiting for the moment, the moment to run, is more detrimental. But I know one thing. It is not San Diego. It is a city who thinks it's all that. A little city who has not capitalized on its sunshine...not even for tourists. A military town who still has not shaken the stereotypical strip joints. A little city so close to LA but culture cannot get past the checkpoint. A little city so close to the border, a beautiful country - Mexico - but to go is a death wish. So, I am done. But I can't leave yet. I have to get things lined up. Carefree comes with a price...and to me, of all people. The independent one. Hmmmm....
However, I made the move downtown into my condo at M2i. I decided to stick it out and since I got my new job, perhaps things would turnaround. I was very excited knowing that I no longer had to commute and could walk to work. It was a mile but was looking forward to getting the exercise. As the year wore on, I noticed the prevalence of homelessness downtown. I walked to work one day and a gentleman, who was draped in a soiled Mexican blanket, stepped out in front of me. My gag reflexes got the best of me. The stench was alarming. I had to stop and cross the street. I felt terrible in a physical way but also emotionally as I watched the man slumber along with no clue of his horrid smell.
Due to the mild climate, the homelessness in San Diego is high. During tourist season, the Sheriff will scoop them up and bring them into jail where they will get a shower, clean clothes, hot meals, medical exams and in some cases meds. Even though that is a temporary benefit for all, soon they are deposited back out on the streets. Sadly, a lot of the homelessness is due to mental illness, not down-on-their-luck circumstances. But there are reputable shelters and facilities, such as Father Joe's, where they can get help. It is just a matter of them taking advantage of it, which is difficult since their logic is impaired and predators are plentiful.
My walking continued but as Winter came, darkness arrived at 5:00 PM. So, I adjusted my hours so I could make it home before dark. That would be about the time the tweekers would come out to play. I was never bothered but in talking with DA personnel, they suggested I not walk. Soon afterwards, I got a parking spot next to the office. It ended up being a bit of a curse though because I now stay later at the office.
Two months after I started at the DA's office, I got a call from my former boss. He told me that Kristin was shot by her husband. Kristin was someone who reported to me at my former job. She was a graphic artist and married to Sam, a deputy sheriff, and they had two kids. Right before Christmas, Sam and Kristin got into an argument and he shot her in the face. Their 4-year old son was in their bedroom when it happened. Her parents, living at their home at the time, heard the fight and came to her rescue but it was too late. She died a few hours after the shooting. I saw the autopsy pictures. I would not listen to the 911 call.
My job now had a very personal face and it gave me a whole new perspective on the type of business I am in.

In history, this happened: 2006
http://www.infoplease.com/year/2006.html

FIFTY

2005

Friends/Family:
Rob, Kate, Karen, Pam, Dan

I had a great birthday party at the "W". It was a blast. I don't remember my feet hitting the ground the entire night. It was well attended and my friends Rob and Kate flew in from Minneapolis which made it even more special. The gifts were unwrapped as fast as the liquor was flowing. The dancing was fast and furious. It was a great evening. I was very grateful to all who attended.

I was living with Karen while my condo was being finished. My house sold sooner than expected so the timing was such that I would need to live with Karen for about 3 months. It ended up being 9 months and it was about as painful as a pregnancy going beyond full term. Note to self: do not live with friends if you want to keep them as friends. We have since made amends so all is well.

My independence was put to the test in this situation. It was difficult to not have my own space and own things. And Karen was very picky about certain things. I could not wrap my head around them as being significant but I complied. So, using my fight or flight instinct, I took flight and this is when I started training for Tucson. My loss of power in this situation took me on a positive journey. I raised $1500 dollars for charity and accomplished a milestone in the process. So, strong suits can payoff in a positive way.

I trained and took part in a Cycling Century Ride in Tuscon 05-06. It was so much fun but very hard work. I rode 109 miles in just under 7 hours which will not win in Paris but won in my book as a major accomplishment. Unfortunately, I aggravated my knee so had to stay off it for a while. I was not able to continue biking afterwards. Too bad because you lose all your strength and air so quickly if you do not continue. Still have my bike but I put it on the trainer in my condo and have converted it to more of a commuter. Nice bike though.

My friend of 30-plus years, who told me about the job at the DA, decided to retire and move back to Ohio. I did not see that one coming. It ended up being okay but I was shocked she was leaving San Diego. She and her husband had decided to go back and take care of her mother. Her husband, a San Diego native, also wanted to try a new part of the country. Yeah, but SNOW??

I left my job at Emerald Publications after 7 years of employment. It was a great job but I wanted to try something new. I got wind of the DA job so I went for it. One of the perks was the retirement. It had to be one of the only places left where you could draw a retirement paycheck after a few years of service. Given the nature of the economy and me supporting my favorite person, ME, it seemed like a good idea. I still think it was a wise move and I am still here. I think I can...I think I can...I know I can...I know I can.

In history, this happened: 2005
http://www.infoplease.com/year/2005.html

FORTY-NINE

2004

Friends/Family:
Bob, Carol

Well, a little something changed from the end of 2003 to 2004. I was in Southern CA and all the cool kids were doing it so I did too. I decided a lighter version of me was in order. Went after work one day and said to my Stylist, "Let's do this". He thought I was nuts but he was excited to do it. Meant a bit more coin for him and a whole new adventure for me. I kept it for a few years and had fun with it. No impact that I was aware of other than my gray hair did not show up as quickly. This picture was taken by Bob, my ex. We were at the Monte Carlo, one of my favorite narrow little restaurants. They poured them like you were making them at home. Anyway, I was in town so we met for dinner then he took me to the airport. We had a great time and genuinely were glad to see each other. When we got to the airport he came in and sat with me. It was uncomfortable and sad. All the "what ifs" showed up and we both got teary-eyed. He finally left and I watched him walk away. He called me when I got home and said it was good to see me. I said the same. But that was it. We both had moved on and rightly so. Closure.

Again, I was extremely, EXTREMELY fortunate to be able to go on a cruise on the Adriatic Sea with a start in Venice, traveling around the boot and stopping in Rome and the Mediterranean Sea. Channel 8 again invited us to join them on a once-in-a-lifetime trip only this was a twice-in-a-lifetime. It was like Heaven. I was well aware of how fortunate I was to be on that trip. I cherished every day. Along the way, we had different stopping points at sweet and quaint coastal towns as well as Dubrovnik, Croatia, Pompeii, and Mount Etna.


Dubrovnik was dripping with the aftermath of war. Even though they had rebuilt in many areas, bombs and bullet holes pierced through the historic walled city. Pompeii was fascinating. It was incredible to learn of their modern society in 79 AD. Mount Etna is where this picture was taken. We took these huge monster trucks to the top. It was not exactly a smooth ride but they got us there and we hiked the rim of the volcano. We started and midway through I began to softly freak out. I had to stop. I was a bit paralyzed by the height and thin air. The path was about two feet across and on either side was "straight down". The guide had to come and do some motivational coaching and strategic pressure points on my hands to divert my fear. I finally got going again only to usher in a cloud that was as thick as cotton. The only thing I could see was the pair of feet in front of me. I could only rely on them knowing the way back. I accomplished it and was so thankful for the experience. By the way, Mount Etna erupted about a week after we returned to the states.


In history, this happened: 2004
http://www.infoplease.com/year/2004.html

FORTY-EIGHT

2003
Friends/Family:
Carol, June

I bought my house in RB. What a deal but it required a lot of love and elbow grease. I was up for the challenge. It was about 1500 sq ft which was huge for me coming from a condo. It also had a backyard and a double car garage. It might as well have been a palace. I started working on it right away. I put in new carpet and tile, drapes, painted the walls in an artistic way, and put in new lights. I also tore up the yard which was filled with rock and replaced with sod so my little dog, Tiger would have a place to run.

The second bedroom I converted into an art studio of sorts. I had my computer and supplies and did not care if I got paint on the walls. This is when I got involved in my new church and stared doing artwork for them. The painting here is in the atrium and it is about 16 feet by 8 feet. Then under each section I put framed verses from the Bible. It was a huge project but I was very please with the installation. The painting is called "The Trinity".

I also painted at services during musical performances. I would get paired up with a soloist and do interpretive painting while he or she sang. It was fun but very physical. I would do a 4 by 6 foot painting in the span of a few minutes. It was action painting for sure. Then I would repeat this effort for 2 more services. By the end, I was spent.

I don't do it anymore. I got too engrossed in the sliver of being "it" and it lost its purpose for me. However, I must say that one Sunday a little boy was on stage and one of my previous paintings was up there serving as a prop. He was being interviewed about the death of his mother. The pastor asked him if he needed anything more since the church had just completed a Home Makeover for his family. He pointed to the painting and said, "I would like to have that. I remember when it was being painted and as I watched, it reminded me of my mother." They immediately gave him the painting. It was of an angel.

A week after I moved into my house, I headed off on a trip of a lifetime. I was going to Australia. I was a guest of Carol's whose husband owned a car dealership. He did not want to go so I got to go in his place for FREE! Channel 8 was giving businesses who did their advertising with them "perk" trips. I was super fortunate and right before I went I lightened my hair. (More detail in 2004.) Carol and I had a great time. Our first leg was in Sydney for about 3 days. On the last night we had dinner at the Opera House. Near the end of the evening, Ed, the CEO at Channel 8, invited everyone out on the patio by the water. A tug boat cruised by and started towards the middle of the bay. We had no idea what was going on. Soon the show started. It was the most spectacular set of fireworks I have ever seen and it was set to music. Incredible! From there we went to Cairns. There I got to snorkel over the Great Barrier Reef. I saw a giant turtle and so many beautiful fish. Being suspended in that water was a feeling of total bliss. I was so lucky to be there and experience this part of the world.

In history, this happened: 2003
http://www.infoplease.com/year/2003.html

FORTY-SEVEN

2002

Friends/Family:
Boatboy

Went back to Mexico. Also, went to London and Paris with Boatboy. London and Paris were fully dedicated to art. While in London, I went to Tate Britain and Modern, National Gallery, National Portrait Gallery and local galleries as well as the wonderful pubs. While in Paris, I did the obvious stops such as Notre Dame, Eiffel Tower and Moulin Rouge, to name a few. I also went to the Picasso Museum, Musée d'Orsay, Centre Pompidou, and then up to Monet's Garden at Giverny and American Art Museum as well as, Honfleur and the Normandy Coast. I lived mostly on French bread, goat cheese and red wine plus lots of espresso with a sugar cube and lemon rind.
Believe it on not, I did not go to Musée du Louvre. I did not want to slight that experience. So, I said I would always go back and stay on Ile de la Cité for a week or so and just do that. But this time, it was an incredible trip. Incredible! I love Paris.
In history, this happened: 2002
http://www.infoplease.com/year/2002.html

FORTY-SIX

2001
Friends/Family:

Boatboy

Met Boatboy. Good times. Akumal, Mexico and all over the Yucatan Peninsula; Two Harbors, Catalina; Marina Del Rey on the Grand Banks...

In history, this happened: 2001
http://www.infoplease.com/year/2001.html

FORTY-FIVE

2000

Friends/Family:
Carol, Debbie

Bought my first piece of real estate in California. What I paid for my 1000 sq. ft. condo was the same as my house on 6 acres in Minnesota. Welcome to California.
I also got a dog. I went to the local shelter and got a rescue dog. I walked through and he was the only one not barking. When I walked up to the fence, he came over and licked my hand. He had me at first lick. I adopted him and decided to name him Tiger. We bonded immediately and he became the hit of the complex. Everyone loved Tiger. More about Tiger in 2006.

In history, this happened: 2000
http://www.infoplease.com/year/2000.html

FORTY-FOUR

1999
Friends/Family:
Brother's Family, Mom and Dad

I moved into my condo. It seemed like it was going to be a good place to live. There was a nice pool, tennis courts, modern and clean complex. It was close to the village and I had plenty of room for all of my things. I got into a routine of walking quite a bit around there because the views were so beautiful. And my nephews would come over a lot to go swimming. So, it was a nice transitional place to land coming from Minnesota. However, that is when I started my downward slide. I got very depressed. It was to the point of needing to go to the doctor. He recommended meds but I did not want to take anything. I thought I should be able to snap out of it. He recommended counseling. I took it. Once a week I went to a group specifically designed for people going through divorce. I hated the idea of going because I thought I was stronger than that but I went. It ended up being helpful because it helped me understand what was going on. I was mourning the loss of the dream, the rejection of my vows and significant changes in my life. I had quit my job, moved, lost some friends and went through a divorce in the span of 3 months. All the stresses of life piled into one heap. I eventually got a job 10 months later and that is when I truly started my uphill transition.

In history, this happened: 1999
http://www.infoplease.com/year/1999.html

FORTY-THREE

1998
Friends/Family:
Brother's Family, Mom and Dad

This is my sister-in-law and four nephews at my mom and dad's 50th wedding anniversary.

In January, I finally got a job. It was with a small risk management company where I would be in charge of designing and implementing training programs for businesses so they would be in compliance for risk assessment. It was a good fit for me at the time. I went from a large Corporate America environment to a small privately owned company. It was a good way to ease back into the workforce. There were only five of us on staff but I managed the outsourced illustrators who worked with me on the lesson plans.

We had some pretty significant accounts: McDonalds, Mrs. Fields, AM PM, Shell, Subway, Chevron and more. I worked with each account in setting up their programs. So, even though it was a small group, we had a pretty big impact. In hindsight, it was a great business model. Very little overhead and when needed, we would be in the back working on mailing lists and packing lesson plans. The company made a nice little profit.

My experience, during this timeframe, was about putting myself back together and rebuilding a new life. I liked the people I worked for so it was a good transition. Kent, the owner, had a private jet so he would invite me on sales calls and we would fly to our accounts. We went to Salt Lake City, Seattle and Dallas to name a few. I am not much of a flyer but I, for the most part, felt comfortable flying with Kent. I would sit up front and see the world out in front of us. It was pretty exciting. One time, flying into Dallas, there was a big storm brewing and the clouds were amazing. The turbulance was starting to pick up so it tossed the little jet around quite a bit. On that particular flight, I was thankful to land. Kent assured me that we were not in danger because it was just turbulence but I was still glad to be standing on solid ground.

In history, this happened: 1998
http://www.infoplease.com/year/1998.html

FORTY-TWO

1997
Friends/Family:
Brother's Family, Mom and Dad, Bob, Lisa

I got a divorce and moved to San Diego and Princess Diana was my refuge in the storm.

I remember it was a Saturday and a beautiful day. I was in the bedroom. Bob was outside mowing the yard. I called my brother in CA and told him I thought I was getting a divorce. He said to come out to San Diego and let's talk. The next day when I got to work, there was a plane ticket on my desk. My brother had over-nighted a ticket to me. I went to my boss and explained the situation. He was so understanding and said to take as much time as I needed. The original plan was to go to San Diego for a week.

I got there and we eased into the conversation about my fate. My brother and his wife were awesome. They listened. They let me cry. My nephews got me iced tea. It was a very supportive environment. A day before I was to go back, my sister-in-law said, "Why don't you stay a bit longer". So, I did. I called my boss and said I would like to extend my time off. He was great and said okay. At that point, my thoughts became more committed to moving ahead. My sister-in-law and I started looking for apartments, storage facilities and the job market. By the time I got on the plane, I had rented storage and my next home. I would be back in about a month.

I got off the plane and Bob was there to pick me up. We were going to dinner to talk. At dinner, I announced I was moving to CA. It was a civil conversation and I felt good although sad. From that point on, the changes came like a tsunami. The word was out. Friends came through with love and support and others chose sides. I started packing and, as I went through the things, Bob and I would negotiate on who got what. Again, it was civil.

When it came time for me to leave, the reality of the situation hit me. I got extremely sad and started to doubt my decision. I almost felt desperate. But my friend Kirstin, who was not an obvious player in my life at the time, really came through. She offered her home to me as a retreat and a ride to the airport on my final day. As I pulled away from my house, my heart was pitch black. My dog, Blu was to stay with Bob but I was so going to miss her. I held her and sobbed. As I pulled away, a small voice kept me focused on this being the right thing to do. Plus, Bob had moved on and was off diverting his attention elsewhere.

The next day my Deluxe group threw yet another happy hour but this time it was a going away party for me. They were so sweet and boosted my spirits. It was so nice to know that I had such a good support system even though some of our mutual married friends became casualties of the split. They gave me a globe, something I always wanted. It was to become my quest to travel around it.

I got on the plane and started my CA journey in Lake Tahoe. My whole family decided to vacation there for the week. It was, yet again, a great support system but the reality of my new life beginning was daunting.

I finally got to San Diego and lived with my brother for about 2 weeks. While there, I did a lot of artwork around their house. It was a great way to refocus my thinking. I also got to spend some quality time with my nephews and we took advantage of it. We hit all the tourist spots and went to the park and theater. It was as comfortable as it could be.

Lisa came out to visit me when I finally was ready to move into my condo. She was a godsend.


In history, this happened: 1997
http://www.infoplease.com/year/1997.html

FORTY-ONE

1996

Friends/Family:
Carol K., Bob K., Bob K. Jr.
My husband's mother had asthma. She would constantly cough and sometimes it would get so bad that she could hardly catch her breath. She would not go anywhere without her "puffer". During the later part of December, close to Christmas, she went to the Dr. to find out why it was so severe. In the meantime, Carol, my mother-in-law and her husband Bob, came to our house for Christmas. It was a very mellow and quiet Christmas. That was very unusual because Bob Jr. (my husband) came from a very large family. It was typically a zoo around the holidays. Matter of fact, it was a zoo all the time. But since Carol was not sure of her health and did not feel like having the chaos surrounding her, they decided to come to our house for Christmas.

We had a nice time and after dinner Carol said she was feeling tired so she took to the couch and Bob Sr. and Jr. did the dishes. I stayed with Carol and we talked. She said she would find out the results of the Dr.'s test right after Christmas. She did not let on but you could tell she was very worried. The next day the Dr. called her and said she had cancer in her lungs and that her asthma had camouflaged it for quite a while.
She immediately went to the Dr. to talk about treatment. They drained her lungs and that gave her some relief from the pressure but it would return way too quickly. By the middle of January, she was admitted to the hospital. On January 29 we were all requested to come to say our good-byes. They let us all in the room to be with her. There were 13 of us. Julie sang. I massaged her feet. Stacy prayed. Bob Sr. paced. Bob Jr. sat silent in the far part of the room. Carol had an oxygen mask on her face and she finally pulled it off and said, "Let's try it without for a while." She was quiet and peaceful then started to talk. You could not make sense of what she was saying but she was talking to someone. Then her breathing started to slow and she finally took her last gasp and passed.
It was actually as beautiful as a death could be. I can only guess that she made her mind up to die when she took that oxygen mask off her face. Carol was a devote Catholic so I am pretty confident that she was talking to God and He was welcoming her home. The family was never the same after that. As with a lot of families, mothers hold everyone together. Carol was the glue. We tried to have our Sunday barbecues after that but without Carol and her famous potato salad or purple-lipping her wine, they missed in grandeur. Bob and I started our decline after her death. I am not sure there was a direct link or just an excuse to divert our attention but I could tell I was ready to move on. I started the slow phase of rejection which in hindsight was cowardly of me but it is what I knew to do at the time. If only...
In history, this happened: 1996
http://www.infoplease.com/year/1996.html

FORTY

1995

Friends/Family:
Mollie, Carol, Bob
Laura planned a surprise party for me with Bob and a lot of my Chisago City friends. We went downtown Minneapolis to a trendy little bar. Prior to that Bob and I went to Glueks for dinner and had a great time. He gave me a beautiful watch but I remember thinking..."A watch!!!??? Really???" Anyway, he said, "Let's go get a nightcap". We walked over to the bar where all my friends were waiting. It was a humbling and terrific time. Good memories.
Our friends had a cabin in Canada. We would drive up there and go fishing and prepare great meals and play cards and oh... drink. It was very remote so often times we would be the only people around. We would go out on the lake early in the morning, as the sun was coming up, and start our day with coffee and a baited hook. When we were done for the day we would head for the outdoor jacuzzi. It was heated with firewood so whoever got the short straw had to keep the fire going. Sometimes we would be in there and it would start snowing. Beautiful and tranquil!

In history, this happened: 1995
http://www.infoplease.com/year/1995.html

THIRTY-NINE

1994
Friends/Family:
Bob, Carol K.

In the winter, Bob would put the fish house on the lake and we would spend many a weekend out there. It was fun. A village would spring up over night. I learned to clean fish and of course, that was my task for the winter. But I enjoyed it. I loved catching them more and they were delicious to eat, especially the crappies and sunnies. We also had a snowmobile and I would take that around the lake. I was never one for trail riding because the riders would go way too fast. I was more in the 40-50 mph range. I was made fun of but I didn't care. In the morning we would jet up the hill and Bob's mom would make breakfast for us. She was such a great cook. We would get our fill of coffee and head back out. Then we would get visitors all day long. It was a very social event. The fish house was fully carpeted, heated, had a stereo system and bunk beds. We were really roughing it.

Our dog Blu loved to be out there too. He would run along side the snowmobile when I drove because I drove so slow. See that little ding in the bottom left corner of the sled? That is where I hit a telephone pole after coming back from my birthday party at Rocky's. Oops...

In history, this happened: 1994
http://www.infoplease.com/year/1994.html

THIRTY-EIGHT

1993
Friends/Family:
Troy, Carol, Bob

This was my brother-in-law, Troy. He was a Harley Biker boy. I look back on this with love. This is the closest I ever got to being a biker babe. Actually, we just came in from the fish house and Carol, my mother-in-law fixed us some food. It was soooo cold that I could not get warm. I loved sitting around this table during Sunday dinners and holidays. We would start out great, laughing and having a good time then the tipping point would arrive. Usually, one of Bobby's siblings would take one swig too many and there would be some sort of argument. It was always fun but sketchy times around the in-laws or should I say outlaws dining table.

In history, this happened: 1993
http://www.infoplease.com/year/1993.html

THIRTY-SEVEN

1992
Friends/Family:
Mom and Dad, Bob and his family, Deluxe Friends

On September 19, 1992 I got married to Bob. He was seven years younger than me but it did not seem to matter. We played well together. Golfed, fished, camped, boated, snowmobiled, liked to have dinner parties, liked his family, he liked mine. So, we got married.

Here is a fun little pic with my mom and dad. My dad just had open heart surgery about 6 months prior to this. But nothing was going to stop him from being at my wedding. My friends, Lisa and Barb. were in the wedding. We all wore white and the men wore black. We had about 200+ in attendance and it was so much fun. My art college friend, Tom, played some music and it was so beautiful. All my music was great and I was so happy that he agreed to be a part of my day.

We rented an old girl scout camp lodge where there were two massive stone fireplaces at each end of the room. It was very rustic as the tables were built with planks with bench seats. I put potted plants on each table and let the guests take them home at the end of the evening. And speaking of evening, we had the best reception on the planet. We found a band at O'Gara's called The Leicesters. I think they were from Wisconsin. We liked their sound and asked them to play. They graciously did and everyone loved them. I think they had just as much fun as we did. My friends from Deluxe were there with bottles and bottles of Jagermeister. They were the life of the party. I had decorated the tables with little red heart confetti. By the end of the evening, they were sticking them on their faces. It looked like the Measles had struck. On Monday at work, a lot of them still had red marks on their faces where the hearts had dyed their skin. Too funny.

By the end of the evening, we were all pretty happy. Here is a picture of Karl. He was Bob's roomate. Karl and Bob were sitting together the first time I ever met Bob. Great news is that Karl met Heidi at our wedding. Today, they have been married for almost 10 years and have 3 children.

Barb and Lisa were in charge of getting us back to the hotel. Barb pulled the car around and we all got in. However, Bob was nowhere to be found. Lisa got out to find him. She finally did and he poured himself into the back seat. As he got in he stopped and said to me. "How do you like me so far?"

Our song for the event was this...


In history, this happened: 1992
http://www.infoplease.com/year/1992.html

THIRTY-SIX

1991

Friends/Family:

Deluxe friends, Bob

Doing what I do best.... having a good time. My dad used to say that I could have fun in a paper bag. Little did he know that it was what was in the paper bag that counts. This was at a Deluxe Christmas Party. Those were pretty fun parties for we were all about the same age and had similar interests and got along so well. This was the year before Bob and I got married. I can't remember if he went with me to this party. If I were guessing, I would say he did not. They were usually right after work and across the street at the Green Mill or another little bar that use to be across from Target. But the beer in the hand meant a ride home so perhaps he picked me up. Can't remember. Hmmm...

We partied a lot at Deluxe. A lot. I did more partying there than in college...Well, maybe not. But we did go out a lot. I remember counting up the number of days we would do happy hour and we usually took Monday and Tuesday off. Occasionally, Wednesdays but for sure the Hour of Happiness hit both Thursdays and Fridays.

I think I was still reeling from my breakup with Gary. And I was in a new and premature relationship with Bob. He was definitely my rebound relationship and I had no business marrying him. But more on that in 1992.
In history, this happened: 1991
http://www.infoplease.com/year/1991.html

THIRTY-FIVE

1990
Friends/Family:
Bob, Karl, Deluxe friends

In June of 1990, I met Bob. I met him at a Deluxe after work party at a bowling alley that had a great bar and dance floor area. One of my Deluxe coworkers introduced me to him and Karl. They were sitting at a table together. I was more interested in Karl but Bob asked me to dance. We danced and I recall thinking he was not a very good dancer. But then there was a slow dance and he was very kind and better at that pace. Anyway, he went home with me that night. As we pulled into the driveway I asked him if he wanted to park his car in my garage. He laughed and said that was the best line he had ever heard. I laughed as well and remember thinking that he was someone special. We went into my apartment. I was living in a converted and beautiful walkout home on Lake Johanna. It was lined with 3 huge french door across the back. We went out on the dock and talked all night long. We then came in and went to sleep...yes only sleep. He was quite the gentleman. The next day we said our good byes and he left. I was disappointed that he did not say anything about calling me again but I guess I wasn't expecting too much. When I got back to my kitchen, he had left a note on the counter saying he had a great time and to call him later. I guess he was letting me make the choice. He left his number. I did not call right away. In fact, I don't think I called him until Sunday. We met at O'Garas in the Garage. The Hoopsnakes were playing. We had a great time and I fell for him and the Hoopsnakes in one fell swoop.

In history, this happened: 1990
http://www.infoplease.com/year/1990.html

THIRTY-FOUR

1989

Friends/Family:
Gary, Scott, Deluxe Friends
In November 1989, Gary and I broke up. It was the worse day of my life. I had spent 10 years with him and I thought my life would never be the same. I still do not know what happened. I have not been able to make sense of why it ended. But it did.
In March of that same year, Gary's father died. He battled cancer for two years. I am not sure why I got this role but I learned how to give LeRoy his morphine. He wanted to die at home so a hospice nurse talked with us about making the environment as comfortable as possible. Even though there were six kids, it was too difficult for them to give LeRoy his shots so the nurse showed me. I practiced on an orange until I felt comfortable. From then on I gave LeRoy his shots.
Often he would wake up and want to know what day it was. We would always tell him. That night I went home and made a large calendar for him. On the current day I put a star. When he woke up that day, he looked over at me and said, "Oh, hello" and said my name. He was very clear which was unusual for he was typically out of it. He wanted to sit up and I showed him the calendar. He loved it and could see what day it was. He was having a moment of profound clarity. But soon he slipped back into a sleep and quickly started wincing in pain. The nurse came in and said I should give him a shot. She also said that it might be his last. I cried as I prepared the syringe. I gave him his shot and he settled down and then passed away.
Actually, in doing this, I now know. I know why but I just did not want to address it. It shows up in the earlier years. Actions at home caused reactions elsewhere. I just did not look at it close enough to realize the "reaction" contributed to the demise. Interesting how we can block things out. It started during my college days (83) but I think Life just got too big for Gary and I. We did not know how to deal with his father's death. We did not know how to talk about it. We did not know how to talk. Gary was mourning, as was I, but not being family, he did not think that I should feel the same way. And in general, we did not have the tools to put our lives back together again. Something was missing and coupled with this loss, there was no turning back.
I remember taking this picture. Scott was trying to cheer me up at work in the Deluxe studio. I was sad and he always made me realize that I had great friends and that this too shall pass. He was and still is a great friend. Thank God for staying in touch through Facebook. I love you Scott...

In history, this happened: 1989
http://www.infoplease.com/year/1989.html

THIRTY-THREE

1988
Friends/Family:
Gary, Gary's family, Mom and Dad, Brother's family

I have no pictures of Gary anymore but he took this picture of my family. We all went back to visit my parents in Ohio. My nephew was just a toddler and first grandchild. He was pretty spoiled by all of us on this trip.
It is hard to believe that this is the year before Gary and I broke up. We were so happy on this trip. But we would return to LeRoy and his cancer battle and try to fight that fight. I think Gary was really worried about his father on this trip. Even though we were having fun, it was hard for him to be away.

In history, this happened: 1988
http://www.infoplease.com/year/1988.html

THIRTY-TW0

1987
Friends/Family:
Gary, Gary's family, Deluxe friends

Gary's father was delivered some bad news. He was diagnosed with colon cancer. We were all in shock but we all bonded together in support. He continued to work but his health started to decline.

My friends at Deluxe decorated my cube for my birthday. It was a nice gesture even though I did not look very happy about it. Those days were a bit challenging when we found out about Gary's father. He and I got along very well and I was not looking forward to the road ahead.

I got to go to a few World Series Games when the Twins won the Championship. It was really a wonderful experience. This picture was taken at a State Capitol celebration. I was at the final game and my friend Hans and I ran all over Mpls afterwards. It was crazy! Very fun times.

In history, this happened: 1987
http://www.infoplease.com/year/1987.html

THIRTY-ONE

1986

Friends/Family:
Gary, Gary's family, Deluxe friends

Gary and I moved into our new house in Shoreview. It was on Thanksgiving Day. We had dinner at his mom and dad's and then his family helped us move. I was so excited. It was a brand new home in a great neighborhood and only a couple of miles from my job. I was in heaven.

This picture is at another Deluxe party. I belive it was Halloween and I was a fashionable fairy princess and Carl was my bad boy prince.

Gary and I did not have a lot of furniture so started out trying to furnish our new digs. We loved estate sales so would hit those on the weekend. We found a great bedroom set that was in perfect condition. I also found a wonderful wooden desk so I bought it. I cleaned it up and gave it to Gary for his birthday. He loved it.

We landscaped our yard and I put in flowers by the deck. I would call my mom and ask what I should buy. Then I would go to the local depot and fill up my cart. I loved working in the dirt and watching them grow. It felt like such an accomplishment.

My life was good here. I felt blessed.

In history, this happened: 1986
http://www.infoplease.com/year/1986.html

THIRTY

1985
Friends/Family:
Mom and Dad, Brother's family, Deluxe friends

My dad, a Mason, would go to Lodge and the regular routine was to go for coffee afterwards. On this particular night he said "no thanks" and started for home. He was less than a mile away but he never made it. They found him twenty miles away right after he had hit a house. My dad is a diabetic and he had an insulin/sugar reaction which is similar to being very drunk. He lost all sense of direction and reason. Along the way, witnesses said he blew through stop lights, ran a car off the road, hit a mailbox and finally crashed into a house. It is a miracle he survived but also that no one was killed or hurt in his path. This was very disturbing for the whole family. We all came home and it was then that my dad decided he would no longer drive and gave up his license. It was sad and it robbed him of his dignity but it was so brave for him to admit it was time. Life in my parent's home changed but it was for the good of all. We all said "I love you" a bit more from then on.

This picture is from a United Way campaign where Jim F. and I were on the committee as Co- Chairs. This particular year it was a Hawaiian theme as told by our dress. I ran a couple of these campaigns and it was hard work but successful in raising money for the cause.



This song is not from this era but it is how I felt when all this happened to my dad. I am in the process of creating a private tribute to my dad using this song. As I grow older and see all the things that have passed with words unspoken, I long to say as much as I can to as many people who need to hear it.



In history, this happened: 1985
http://www.infoplease.com/year/1985.html

TWENTY-NINE

1984
Friends/Family:
Deluxe Friends, Kate, Maiya, Becky, Heidi

I graduated from the University of Minnesota with a Bachelor of Fine Arts with a concentration in Drawing and Painting. I also started work at Deluxe Check Printers or now known as Deluxe Corporation. I worked there for 12 years and started out as a keyliner and worked my way up to Director of Creative Services. It was a great run. Made a lot of wonderful friends and they are still friends today. Always have a place to visit or stay while in Minneapolis.

In history, this happened: 1984
http://www.infoplease.com/year/1984.html

TWENTY-EIGHT

1983
Friends/Family:
College friends, Pinky, Tom, Chip, Error

My college days were very fun and I loved studying art.
I had some great teachers-
Some accomplished.
Others legendary.
And those trying to be.












All in all, a great education in many ways. Many many ways...

This was my gang. We were in classes or hung out together. Great group of guys. There were only a couple of girls but they were either in other classes or just hung out on occasion, as I recall. Can't really remember. As I look back on these pics, I was so lucky to have these guys in my life. I have lost communications with some. One played music at my wedding. And one I am still in touch with through the power of the Internet. He stayed the course and is an accomplished artist today.

We managed to always find time to go to Prestons by either skipping class or going afterwards. Sloshing pitchers of beer, many an evening was spent discussing philosophical, artistic or musical "whatever". Bottom line, we drank ourselves smart or smarter and I always seemed to end up giving someone a ride home. This was problematic because I was with someone else at the time. But he was my college attraction who I was drawn to over and over. There was just something about him that I needed to have for myself. Don't know why. We were willing participants.
We won a snow-sculpture contest and the prize was a trip to Michigan to go skiing. We rode up on a bus and drank the whole way. Thanks be, it had a bathroom on board. We all stayed in a chalet and most skied. I did not but had a great time, regardless. It was a great bonding trip and again, I got my wish. But one classmate lectured me and said to watch my wanting ways. I assured him it was fine. It all turned out okay. No harm done other than make me question my long term relationship. Why else would I stray? What was missing? That answer did not come until many years later.
Good memories. They make me smile.


This music was probably not my favorite choice for this year but it reminded me so much of one of my artist friends. He donned the Bowie look and danced like him so had to pay tribute to the boy, as goofy as he was... and perhaps still is. It was either this or Duckie in "Pretty in Pink" but that did not come out until 1986.

In history, this happened: 1983
http://www.infoplease.com/year/1983.html

TWENTY-SEVEN

1982

Friends/Family:

College Friends

We took an art trip to New York. We went to The Guggenheim, Met and MoMa and I saw Monet's "Water Lilies". I remember coming around the corner to this secluded darkened space and there they were all by themselves. I got tears in my eyes. I sat there for a very long time. It was like a sacred moment. I got close and looked at the brush strokes and then just sat there. I, surprisingly, was alone for quite a while. It was beautiful. That was a very enlightening trip. I can't remember where we stayed but I remember what we drank!

In history, this happened: 1982
http://www.infoplease.com/year/1982.html

TWENTY-SIX

1981

Friends/Family:
Gary, Barb

The Minneapolis College of Art and Design (MCAD) was too pretentious for me. I was not "feeling" the power of instruction from all the teachers. And for being a specialized and expensive school, I wanted some undivided attention. However, instead of continuing school, I ended up getting a pretty good job. Since I was with Gary, I felt I had to contribute with a paycheck now.

This is my pal, Barb. We worked together at Standard. We were out celebrating her birthday. Something we did a lot. She is a great pal and when I get back to Mpls. I always look her up and pretty much repeat what you see here.


She got me involved in softball. I ended up being catcher because I was too restless to stand around in the outfield or on base. I liked the busyness of this position and I got pretty good at it. I loved it when they would throw home but it scared the softball out of me too!

But while I was at MCAD, I was on the best work study program. I worked in the membership office at the Art Institute. I assisted people with their memberships. When I would go on break, I would walk around the building. I would go up to the Renaissance section and examine the paintings. I would get as close as I could and look at the brush strokes and study how they could have that vein just below the surface of the skin. Or, have the lighting just so. It was pretty special working there and be surrounded by all of that beauty. Even a trip to the restroom was cultural.

In history, this happened: 1981
http://www.infoplease.com/year/1981.html

TWENTY-FIVE

1980

Friends/Family:
MCAD Friends, Gary, Mike

I transfered from Wright State University to Minneapolis College of Art and Design. I found a converted Victorian right across the street from the college. It was a beautiful house. I had two roomates and we got along pretty well, considering we were so busy and hardly ever saw each other. The house was convenient but it had mice and bats. At night I would look down from my bed and see the mice making a trail to the kitchen. I cannot remember being too freaked out about it as long as they did not crawl on me. And then I came home from school one day and there were two bats hanging upsidedown from our fireplace mantle. One evening we were sitting at the dining room table and a bat swooped down on us. We screamed hysterically and ran to the kitchen and put pots on our heads. The next day I went to the landlords office downtown and demanded he do something about the rodents. He did but I soon moved out.


How fitting is this song for this year of my life...I was looking for Funky Town...I found it.



After gaining permission from Gary's father, I moved in with Gary in a cute little blue rambler in Moundsview. I was in heaven. We had a garden and went to estate sales to furnish the place. We refurbished furniture and made the place very nice. Mike became a roomate as well and so the three of us would have fun weekends drinking beer, playing records and going to soccer games. Life was good. I was with the love of my life.
I am hanging laundry on the clothes line. In the background is where we planted our garden. It was a huge yard and in the Fall, we raked leaves non-stop.

In history, this happened: 1980
http://www.infoplease.com/year/1980.html