Friends/Family:
Carol K., Bob K., Bob K. Jr.
My husband's mother had asthma. She would constantly cough and sometimes it would get so bad that she could hardly catch her breath. She would not go anywhere without her "puffer". During the later part of December, close to Christmas, she went to the Dr. to find out why it was so severe. In the meantime, Carol, my mother-in-law and her husband Bob, came to our house for Christmas. It was a very mellow and quiet Christmas. That was very unusual because Bob Jr. (my husband) came from a very large family. It was typically a zoo around the holidays. Matter of fact, it was a zoo all the time. But since Carol was not sure of her health and did not feel like having the chaos surrounding her, they decided to come to our house for Christmas.
We had a nice time and after dinner Carol said she was feeling tired so she took to the couch and Bob Sr. and Jr. did the dishes. I stayed with Carol and we talked. She said she would find out the results of the Dr.'s test right after Christmas. She did not let on but you could tell she was very worried. The next day the Dr. called her and said she had cancer in her lungs and that her asthma had camouflaged it for quite a while.
She immediately went to the Dr. to talk about treatment. They drained her lungs and that gave her some relief from the pressure but it would return way too quickly. By the middle of January, she was admitted to the hospital. On January 29
we were all requested to come to say our good-byes. They let us all in the room to be with her. There were 13 of us. Julie sang. I massaged her feet. Stacy prayed. Bob Sr. paced. Bob Jr. sat silent in the far part of the room. Carol had an oxygen mask on her face and she finally pulled it off and said, "Let's try it without for a while." She was quiet and peaceful then started to talk. You could not make sense of what she was saying but she was talking to someone. Then her breathing started to slow and she finally took her last gasp and passed.
It was actually as beautiful as a death could be. I can only guess that she made her mind up to die when she took that oxygen mask off her face. Carol was a devote Catholic so I am pretty confident that she was talking to God and He was welcoming her home. The family was never the same after that. As with a lot of families, mothers hold everyone together. Carol was the glue. We tried to have our Sunday barbecues after that but without Carol and her famous potato salad or purple-lipping her wine, they missed in grandeur. Bob and I started our decline after her death. I am not sure there was a direct link or just an excuse to divert our attention but I could tell I was ready to move on. I started the slow phase of rejection which in hindsight was cowardly of me but it is what I knew to do at the time. If only...
In history, this happened: 1996
http://www.infoplease.com/year/1996.html
She immediately went to the Dr. to talk about treatment. They drained her lungs and that gave her some relief from the pressure but it would return way too quickly. By the middle of January, she was admitted to the hospital. On January 29
we were all requested to come to say our good-byes. They let us all in the room to be with her. There were 13 of us. Julie sang. I massaged her feet. Stacy prayed. Bob Sr. paced. Bob Jr. sat silent in the far part of the room. Carol had an oxygen mask on her face and she finally pulled it off and said, "Let's try it without for a while." She was quiet and peaceful then started to talk. You could not make sense of what she was saying but she was talking to someone. Then her breathing started to slow and she finally took her last gasp and passed. It was actually as beautiful as a death could be. I can only guess that she made her mind up to die when she took that oxygen mask off her face. Carol was a devote Catholic so I am pretty confident that she was talking to God and He was welcoming her home. The family was never the same after that. As with a lot of families, mothers hold everyone together. Carol was the glue. We tried to have our Sunday barbecues after that but without Carol and her famous potato salad or purple-lipping her wine, they missed in grandeur. Bob and I started our decline after her death. I am not sure there was a direct link or just an excuse to divert our attention but I could tell I was ready to move on. I started the slow phase of rejection which in hindsight was cowardly of me but it is what I knew to do at the time. If only...
In history, this happened: 1996
http://www.infoplease.com/year/1996.html
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